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English: Map showing, for each electoral ward ...

South Africa has the largest world gap between the rich and  poor. To eliminate extreme wealth for the white minority and extreme poverty for the poor African majority Twelve Things must be done. Land is a source of employment and wealth creation. Land is a primary means of production. All necessities of life are in the land. The primary contradiction of the liberation in South Africa was land. The split between the 1957 African National Congress and the PAC occurred when the ANC betrayed the land question. A liberation struggle that does not restore land to a colonially dispossessed people is a failed liberation.

The following measures should be implemented to ensure equitable distribution of land:

1. There must be a database establishing how much land ownership is in foreign hands.

2. There must be a quick law made in Parliament forbidding sale of land to foreigners, especially those from…

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Has the Pan Africanist Congress of Azania dissolved to a non-entity?

As a prelude to all that I am about to embark on in this discourse, it is obligatory that I put it to you that I am not a political analyst but I am a concerned citizen with a call. Not only am I a concerned citizen but I am also a Pan Afrikanist and I deem it my moral obligation and duty to uphold the virtues that were once a destined dream of our for-bearers and to speak boldly because again, Bantu Biko didn’t die so that I can be afraid to speak.
The once radical Black Nationalist movement founded back in 1959 turned political party which moved from having five seats in parliament back in 1994 to only having one in the present day assembly seems to have relegated to a non-entity. My initial thoughts of the Pan Africanist Congress as a political party stretches back to the days of Dr Motsoko Pheko, who for some reason I was very fond of, probably that was mainly constituted by the fact that we are both Sesotho speaking people and I later had to find out that he is somehow related to my grandmother Adelice Libuseng Phooko. Another reason why I am so concerned and intrigued with the PAC is its radical founder Mangaliso Robert Sobukwe who has been deemed the man who walked the political talk to the end in my eyes could have done great things if not for his untimely death that robbed us off a great leader. I have never been a politically outspoken person until of late when I realized the state of anarchy our country is in and I asserted to the words that “it is the moral duty of a man to disobey unjust laws” that I found myself bewildered and overwhelmed with a deep conviction that I had to start thinking politically and develop my own value systems.
Looking back at the history of the PAC from the time of Mangaliso, it is not hard to perceive that it was going to be a political miracle of its day, this of course will depend on what our individual sociopolitical concerns were. My concern came to the fore after I read Dr Pheko’s article on How the ANC has betrayed its founding principles that I began to see that indeed, we have totally lost sight of the initial mandate. The initial mandate was thus: proportional land distribution, which has not been properly met because Afrikans are still spending thousands of rands buying their own land, Equal opportunity and absolute freedom, which ended up being either negotiated or bought but never took back. The list can go on and on. In a nutshell, the ANC has moved from being a liberation movement to being occupied with other things that the dispossessed Afrikans never asked for like homosexuality being a socially and morally accepted, same sex marriages, abortion “on demand”, prostitutes who are now called “sex workers” and so on. It then became clear that truly, we have lost sight of the initial mandate and someone has to remedy it.
It is my wish that movements and political parties such as the Pan Africanist Congress who fall well within the ranks of Liberation (politically, economically and mentally) and Pan Africanism, should rise up and save Afrika or else we will go back to Babylon. Movements such as I am Afrika, I Arise which are led and influenced by great, young and black radical leaders such as Siphesihle Shabalala, Thobani Mtolo and the likes who are rooting for the Rise of Afrika and its Renaissance. But then again, this will not be impossible but it will be daunting as people do not know what is it that they are fighting for, out of all the 400 seats in parliament, the PAC has one and half of those are being occupied by a civil rights movement and not a liberation cause, when people do not even know their identity or don’t own their alliance to Afrika alone. Please do not be misled, I am not in any way narrowing the needs of this country to one political party which is what I think is the PAC but I am making a call to all movements, organizations and political parties with the same mandate to come to the fore, although the subject of inquiry in this case is the PAC. This country already has enough middle men, enough renegades, we have enough blackopeans (black people who are racially confused and think that they are Europeans) and we already have enough civil rights movements and not enough liberation movements like there were back in the day. I am not in any way condemning civil rights movements but what is the use for homosexuals to know that they can marry and walk around freely if they are still oppressed and are anti- Afrikanists?
I wonder how Sobukwe, Biko, Nkrumah, Luther King and the likes feel when they look down on us today. Probably they are wondering, where is the continental and diaspora unity of blacks that we fought for? Where is the land? Why does the black child still die in the gutter with no food to eat and no book to read? And most importantly, surely Mangaliso would ask, where are my fellow comrades? Why have they ‘deserted’ the struggle? Potlako Leballo, what happened to us? Dr Motsoko Pheko, how far have we come guys? WHERE IS THE Pan Africanist Congress of Azania TODAY and why is Afrika still being robbed off all her resources??!
It has a become a political norm for parties to spend hours on end criticising the ruling party, maybe it’s about time they leave that for the Democratic Alliance and go back to their boardrooms, sit down and reflect on how far they have come. They spend hours on end fighting the products of the system and not the system itself. Ever since the political goal of 1994 was reached, people relaxed, some retired and are now sitting in the homes writing books about themselves and reminiscing over tea with their old age buddies. Some may ask, why a young lady like me doesn’t join the Economic Freedom Party or follow tradition and join the African National Congress or the Democratic Alliance, why? Because they promise jobs and RDP’s and roads with no pots holes? No! I do not want to negotiate my freedom, I want to take it. I do not want to be given a job, I want to take it. I do not want to beg to be given an RDP (well, I won’t get it anyway since I didn’t suffer under apartheid) but I want to take it because it has always been mine. I do not want to ask to be given clean fresh water to drink, it should be a birth right even. These are the reasons why I want to align myself with a party that addresses my Afrikaness and Blackness, the same way Malcom X became Muslim.
I am Afrika and I Arise and I owe my alliance to Afrika alone. As for the PAC, no it hasn’t dissolved to a non-entity because in its silence and with its rich history, it managed to convert a theologian like me into a politically outspoken person. The PAC will rise again, Afrika will Rise again. Izwe Lethu!

Long Live Sobukwe. The man who walked the political talk to the end.

I can’t say anythig, I’m afraid.

I am not a bright girl, definitely not one of those ‘you-guys-should-hear-her-speak’ type of a girl, this is however not a self-assessment blog post, I just wanted to transcend my shortcomings. I wonder if it is a pervasive thing/feeling of being afraid of ever being wrong, I hope so, because it’s always comforting to know that you are not alone. I am probably the girl who sits at the black in class and eats her hair (as if I have any), a modest Theologian trying to make sense of her inhabited sphere, constantly, if not all the time preoccupied with ideas, questions, concerns, criticism, and the list goes on and on and on…

I hardly voice all of that out though, if I do, I precede with great caution because I am afraid of being wrong and i cannot stand being hammered down to a pulp by those who supposedly know more . Thing is, I often find myself in the midst of great minds,guys that will make you feel small in a big place.. and we know what that leads to right? Yes, you guessed right, inferiority complex. As I alluded above, at some, point we all have to transcend our shortcomings. I hope someone can relate to this. So, here I am, thinking, what the hell? What is this? What inferiority complex? I realize how I have just contradicted myself in a big way, how self absorbed i have been and although i got convicted, it was a harsh and sad reality.

So what if I cannot be among those who are deemed intelligent because of their eloquence? Who said diction was the measure of intelligence, why are we even having this conversation in the first place? I asked myself and i laughed hard when i realized that I live in a country where credentials and academic qualifications of high ranking, over paid poor rich men are being called into question nc nc nc . It felt like I had just been slapped hard across my brain with a great awakening call. Then I came to the sudden realization, as much as I love myself, it is no longer about me, it is no longer about my comfort, my call had stretched boundaries and crossed borders and i was now part of the ecumenical movement marching and chanting together. I had never realized that the day I began to think politically, I had renounced all individualism. Like a veil lifted off the face of the bride, a new day had dawn in my mind. It then occurred, while I am busy biting my nails and contemplating whether I should or i shouldn’t, the cause was far greater than self assessment and the rewards were going to be far greater than any form of self gratification. The self had to go take a nap now, the self had gotten really tired from futile attempts to satisfy it.

I deem it a political sin for me to be even saying all this. Surely Biko would turn in his grave if he had to hear me say all of this, because Bantu Biko died so that i can also write what I like. Without any fear and doubt. With great caution although not sanctifying and sugar coating blatant lies. Surely he would have loved to know that his efforts were not in vain and that his vision for a liberated Afrika still continues. Following in the footsteps of the great passive resistant leader, a pen, paper and my mind are the only weapons i can use in this warfare. Surely the great Patrice Lumumba’s words were not confined only inside the walls of Congo when he said Afrika will one day write it’s own history and he was not speaking in abstract terms. Solomon Mahlangu said his blood will nourish the trees that will bear the fruits of freedom, and I’m sure it will appease him to know that some of those fruits have ripened and that his sacrifice was not overlooked.

And now i realize, perhaps, not all hope is lost. That it is my task to further strive for the emancipation of minds that have been enveloped in past existential experiences. the struggle never stopped, it has just taken a new form hence the need to liberate also never stops. A luta continua.

I said I can’t, with the fear of being wrong but this blog post is specially for the pseudo-intellectual critiques that are sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to say sumin’, and there’s one for you too grammar police.

I said something, and I don’t care if I am wrong.

Reasons behind school shootings run deep.

Reasons Behind School Shootings Run Deep

By Natalia Quirk

It gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I hear about: another school shooting. And for millions of others across the nation, I’m sure it is the same thing. There is nothing quite so disturbing as the idea of children dead, dying and killing.

Students mourn the loss of fellow classmates in teh 1999 Columbine shootings.

It was not so long ago that we, college students, confident and mature, were frightened high school kids. It doesn’t take a huge stretch of the imagination to remember the fear of rejection and failure. But were you ever so angry or confused that you were capable of murder or suicide?

I moved to my school district in1993. I euphemize when I say I was not the most popular kid in sixth grade. What amazes me is how creative and cruel 12-year-olds can be. Andy Williams, the latest troubled teen to take arms, had also recently moved to Santee, CA from Maryland. So, why is it that Williams and other shooters that feel like outsiders have turned to murder? Experts attribute Williams’ difficulties to lack of parental care, drugs and music.

I spoke to a clinical counselor, Karen L. Panasevich, to get her opinion on teen psychiatry. Panasevich works at the Lewis Middle School in Roxbury, Massachusetts. The school and teachers deal regularly with violent and emotionally unstable children, weapons and even with an occasional physical attack.

Panasevich attributes violent behavior to witnessing, living with and experiencing violence, as well as being unable to express stored rage. The media comes into play by bringing some of this violence into living rooms, but in general, experience is more powerful.

So, what is the treatment? Panasevich believes that it is vital to start treatment early. Children need to learn conflict resolution, how to express their anger and think first and foremost with their heads, not fists or trigger fingers.

In response to the question of what makes some children capable of arming themselves and following through, Panasevich sees it as purely psychiatric. There are warning signs, she says, but parents and teachers are often in denial. They don’t want therapy; they just want the problems to go away. The fact is that kids don’t just snap. They have been snapping for a long time before they are capable of killing.

It is clear, then, that many of today’s teens exhibit signs that could mean they are on the road to being a danger to themselves and others. Unfortunately, with the recent rash of shootings, it has become common for school administrations to pounce on kids that don’t fit the mold of ideal high school student, a practice that might cause individualists to feel even more alienated.

Panasevich sees that gun control is essential. Putting guns at the disposal of unstable kids is ridiculous. Having guns in general is ridiculous, in her opinion. She believes the necessary laws are not in place.

And so we come to the crux of the argument: the guns. They are a fascination to children. The power that they yield and the validation they can give to any kid who has ever been picked on or pushed aside.

Recently, ABC’s PrimeTime ran an exposé on how children react to finding guns. Two sets of children were given lectures by a local policeman on the dangers of guns.

Both sets were attentive; both sets swore that if they were to find a gun, they would notify an adult or the police. Both lied. A few weeks later, kids ranging in age from 10 to 17 were placed in situations in which disabled guns were planted for them to find. Each child upon finding the gun became sneaky, covert or excited. They would hide the gun in their bags, put it in their pockets or play shootout games with friends.

Although some eventually turned in the weapon, a surprising amount left the room with the gun, seemingly intending to keep it until informed that they had been watched and asked to hand over the weapon.

An alarming number of the kids could identify the guns and knew how to load and unload them. The most interesting child in the experiment was one who months earlier had witnessed the shooting of his best friend in a street gang fight. He had been in counseling since the incident and, according to his YMCA peer counselor, was recovering well.

This boy, age 13, when finding the gun, pointed it exactly in the direction of his friend. He then hid it among his things before leaving to fetch other friends. The guns changed the personality of their finders without exception. They were nervous, careful, sneaky, but above all, excited. You can push rationale and reason on children only so much and then hope for the best when you aren’t watching them. Are we willing to take the risk?

The solution to me is clear: gun control. Today, more than ever, the argument is solid against that of the NRA: Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Yet, children are killing children. In the past, kids that felt overwhelmed and depressed committed suicide. School shootings are simply a way of making a statement on the way out. The new fashion is to make the bullies pay.

Cruelty is popular, despite TV series like Sesame Street and 7th Heaven that preach kindness and compassion. In addition, the modern American family structure is suffering from a breakdown.

Divorce rates are high, both parents often work, and as much as these circumstances are often unavoidable, they are leading to the consequence that many children are being raised in the classroom.

Their lessons in morality, ways of dealing with problems and advice come from peers. So what happens if these peers shun you for your style, weight, music choice or your intelligence? Adolescence is the hardest, most frightening period of our lives, and I can think of only one way to make it worse: The fear that you won’t live through it. The younger generations of Americans have been more fortunate than the 500 million others in the world that experience the horrors of war.

The lack of gun control laws is turning each of our schools into potential war zones. When we add into the equation the ten children a day that die from gun-related accidents, and the fact that so many other shooting attempts have come close to fruition in the past year, it is a wonder to me why so many still stand scratching their heads as to what to do.

From a perfectly practical viewpoint, gun control is a much easier policy to initiate than a psychological exam and therapy for each and every child. Even if students are screened for stereotypical warning signs that lead to such tragedies, there are some shooters that would never have been profiled in advance.

Take for example, the eighth grade Catholic schoolgirl who was pegged as a future human rights activist or nun, firing at the school’s head cheerleader while saying, “No one thought that I would go through with this.” Other options include making school entrances like entrances to federal buildings or airports with guards on every corner. I believe that this is just asking us to accept the fact that schools are dangerous places to be. My 13-year-old sister begins her freshman year of high school this coming September. I shouldn’t be afraid. Our little corner of Long Island is one of the safest havens in America. Except, four weeks ago, a student was expelled for threatening three other students with a gun.

Not in my town, not in my high school. That is, not yet, anyway.

What is the church doing?

Often we hear sermons, preachers telling us that God loves us, He has great plans for us, He will never disappoint us. That is all true, yes, God is good but do we see that practically in our lives? More specifically what is the church doing to help? But one man said something, he said ” The greatest sermon you will never forget is the one you have experienced ”

I concur, fully. It broke my heart when I saw an old lady, she has been going to church for a long time, her church uniform has even lost its color, seaparo se thuntse bana beso!! Up to this day she has been faithful to the church, donating, pledging to help where necessary but she still lives in a shack, sometimes goes to bed hungry, during winter the rain finds its way through the zinc resulting in ill health. Yes, she’s got faith of her own but what is the church doing? And you expect her to still come to church and believe that God loves her without it reflecting in her life?

We often say Love is an ACT of kindness, respect, giving, understanding and all those values. It is not enough for us to be standing behind pulpits every sunday, preaching our lungs out whereas we don’t put it to practice. Theory and Practice go hand in hand, they are like one coin with different sides my Practical Theology lecturer Dr. Frikkie Labeschagnue taught me this and its one valuable lesson I won’t forget. We cannot separate the two, we cannot preach and not do nor can we practice something which we do not preach.

Let us take a look of the two kinds of people we have in the church and how they may contribute :

•The intellectuals, the 9 to 5’s they probably work long hours, or they might have connections which might help the unemployed, they can also employ people to be nanny’s, domestic workers or gardeners.

•The University students or graduates. Results just came out, some passed and some did not 😦 We have well educated people in the church, how about they become tutors to these high school kids, help with homework, assignments etc. If they have the time.
Won’t any of this bring some change, not only to the church but won’t it form part of mission work, we attract people from outside without even saying a word (Centripetal) but by witnessing our ACTIONS on how we treat our own people. Won’t it only help people but also bring Glory to the name of our Lord? Yes, it will. Even the early church began with Acts not with theories that is why the Jews were Orthopraxy not Orthodox. They believed in the right action ( Orthopraxy) not the right belief ( Orthodox) hence they were so attached to the Ten commandments because they were more concerned with Ethical behavior. Ethics = Right or Wrong behavior therefore it all comes down to how we ACT upon what we say/believe in. If we say we believe in God then we believe in Love because God is Love. Its my prayer that the church might be active role players in the lives of its congregates, from now until Christ returns!

I’m a Theologian and I pledge to put my Theology into practice. The word Theology is derived from two Greek words “Theos” meaning God and “Logos” meaning Word totaling to The Word of God so I am pledging to put the Word of God into practice! I pledge not only to preach Love, kindness, understanding etc. But put it into action!

2Corinthians 13:13 in other versions its v.14. Shalom!

Religion and Politics, should they mix?

A quick definition of these two.
Religion: The belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. A personal God or gods.
Politics: The activities associated with the governance of a country.

It is clear from definitions that both parties are made to govern, to rule over people. But there is a huge difference because the ‘object’ of Religion is of sacred power compared to that of politics, sacred ruling power for that matter. In the eyes of religion, politics ruling power is seen as tyranny.

Since as South Africans we are faced with the daunting task of choosing a President, I found it rather interesting to write about religion and politics since I’m a theological student and I have a remarkable interest in both.

But what does the Bible say about Politics? We will find the scripture reading from the book of Romans 13: 1- 7 *clears throat* The heading is “Duties towards the states authorities”
I will only quote a few verses “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore who sever resists what God has appointed and those who resist will en cure judgment”

From the verse it is clear that God is the superior ruler but has appointed those we should report to on earth. Religion has been warned not to endorse democracy of this world. For them trusting in the powers of this world is like trusting in evil powers, which is what keeps religion from seeing democracy unveil.

Religion regards God to man relations higher than man to man relations e.g people to government and people to God which could be a reason why religion rejects political worldly systems. For them, religion must be kept apart from politics . But from the verse we have read, it is clear that God has an interest in our daily living and what is happening in the world we live in. But this is not what some religions teach, do they only teach what suits them? Do they only preach a portion of the whole gospel? Do they want to keep their followers in fear of the world and give them the idea that the world and its rulers are bad? Oh well, enough with the rhetoric questions. Often people say politics deals with the outward but doesn’t nourish the spirit and only kills it. But the bible doesn’t separate the two, in fact it encourages us to be submissive/ or to subject to our governing authorities, it is not secular to participate in politics, not everything is ought to be viewed as sacred. But that does not rule God out as our superior ruler!

Genesis 1 tells us that humans were given authority to rule over everything, which includes plants, animals etc. But not other humans! [ Gen. 1: 28-29]. In Genesis 2, Adam says Eve will be his “helper” in earlier manuscripts it says “servant” , this gives us a picture of people being of assistance to each other. “Politics” come in at Genesis 3 where it is mentioned that Adam shall ‘rule’ over Eve [Gen 3:16] This replaces the agreement that man shall not rule over one another but now God will be superior and man shall rule over the world, all authority has been given down to us but in this case we are talking about Politics.

Religion and Politics in my view do mix, the Marikana saga couldn’t have been able to be stabilized without the aid of Religious delegates, just to mention a current event we can all relate to.

The bible therefore does not rule out Politics. As we are heading to Mangaung let us take 1 Timothy 2:1-4 into serious consideration, as it reads; ” First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, requests, and thanksgiving be offended be offered to God for all people; for Kings and all other who are in authority, that we may live in a quiet and peaceful life with all reverence towards God with proper conduct. This is good and it pleases God our savior, who wants everyone to be saved and come to know the truth”
Let us pray for our delegates.


My contemporary society.

Morals and Ethics.. Controversial topic

These two are distinct, Morality is the description of behavior or conduct of a group or ethnic society but morality will only remain a description because it does not judge or distinguish whether the conduct is good or bad, right or wrong. Right or wrong, good or bad is Ethics and it judges and evaluates morality.

How do we come to a conclusion that something is good or it is bad? On which grounds do we place our judgments, what serves as a point of reference? Let me make an example, our societies have evolved and now prejudice is the order of the day. E.g if your walking down the street and meet a girl who looks fairly young and she is heavily pregnant what is the first thing that comes to your mind? *She’s too fast for her age, *What was she thinking, *the infamous line “Kids of nowadays” Yes, in the contemporary society we live in, that is morally and ethically wrong! But did you take some time and talk to her, find out what happened? Poor girl maybe she was raped, maybe she lives in a village where talking to your parents about sex is considered a taboo, hence she has little knowledge, she doesn’t know about contraceptives or any precautionary measures available. Even the bible says that without knowledge we perish!

Ever since Akhona graced our television screens, people have had nothing more to say about either than she is ‘ugly’. I don’t get it? What is beauty then, how do we evaluate it? In the contemporary society we live in, if you’re not light skinned, big breasts, big behind with no cellulite, weave and sex appeal then forget! You are ugly! I wonder who is this one person that we can refer to and say “That is beauty”, people are doing reconstruction surgery because they are not beautiful enough, boob jobs, face lifts, nose jobs, tanning all in the name of being beautiful! Whoever said beauty is in the eyes of the beholder was indeed a wise man, India Arie said it best ” I am not my hair, I am not my skin but I am the soul that lives within”. Beauty is what you make it out to be, you cannot do It according to standards set by society because they are too high and they themselves can’t reach them!

So who is right, and who is wrong in my contemporary society?

True Love is just a magezine and Trust is just a condom..

When you hear such words don’t you just lose all hope? I mean after all we all have been heartbroken and to some these words can make sense. But really now, can we lower these two really wonderful things to such low standards. I won’t lie, the way Love has become just a ‘quote’ troubles me because its such a beautiful thing.

Paul the Apostle gave us the fruits of love in 1 Corinthians 13 but not its meaning. Philosophers and all other intellects have tried to attach meaning to it but failed. They can only go as far as explaining what Love is not. Some say God is love, but that would answer the question, Who is Love and not what is Love. The best answer I’ve came across is: ‘Love is the Unknown and for you to understand what love is you have to discard the known in order to come to the known’ but still, Love is the unknown and it means whatever meaning you attach to it though other meanings are utter nonsense! But its not just a Magazine Lo**

Trust is a condom brand yes but that is not the one I want to talk about here. I remember one day when my step dad told my little brother who was riding a horse to jump and he will catch him. Unsuspecting and TRUSTING that he will catch him, he jumped and my step dad was standing there folding his arms and he didn’t catch him. Now that was trust in action, he believed beyond reasonable doubt that his father will catch him. But it was a different case, he didn’t now what does it mean? Obviously I can’t trust you anymore, case closed! Its like a pencil with no lead there is no point to it!

**Like Apostle Paul said, greatest of these its Love! Love covers all!

You’re inlove? My deepest condolences

It saddens me that today, instead of being encouraged to love, its being viewed as one of the worst things that can happen to anyone.

My mother likes to say, ” Marriage is not easy and its not NICE ” well well dear Mother, I hear you but If its really not that nice then why did you allow him to put a ring on that finger? Its not like a gun was put to her head No, its a choice she took. I hate it how such a beautiful thing is now being condemned. Now being in love is seen as a curse or bad luck, people now see it as just one of those things that can befall a person. Its now categorized into different phases, now we have the honeymoon phase and the suffering phase. One pastor once said “Marriage has three rings, the engagement ring, wedding ring and the suffeRING” mind you this is a man who is supposed to bless marriages and he is already condemning them to long term suffering! This is utter nonsense! People now have the mentality that at least in the first three months its all nice and the affection is just oozing! After that, its arguments and break ups! And trust me that how it has turned out to be because with the tongue we bless and we curse!

Why can’t we use the power we have in our tongues and minds to say good things upon our lives? Aren’t we aware that with our minds we sharpen the tools that destroy us?! But again, we can sharpen those that can build us!

So I ask ” You’re inlove?” You are blessed to be!

Love don’t restrict me.

Often you hear people say “Love hurts”. Who came up with that? How true is it? I know very well that the things we say and do are those that come from experience, no doubt about that. But some of the things we do and say its because we were taught/told to it that way.

Moving on now, let us look at death, its inevitable we cannot escape it but isn’t it the same with getting hurt, disappointed,betrayed etc. No one can wake up in the morning and just come to a conclusion that they are going to hurt you, it needs to have a root, a point of reference. Our actions are preceded by thoughts and feelings.

Once a friend of mine used ‘strong language’ at me during an argument, I asked him why he had to swear at me he said as a child he was taught to use vulgar to express his anger, he was taught to do so, that is his point of reference. For so long we have been told that ‘Love hurts’ but I’m rather puzzled by this statement, its absurd, utter nonsense! If you enter into a relationship with expectations and demands and not taking into account that the person you are with is merely human and bound to make mistakes, you will be left hurt and disappointed.
Tina Turner asked “What’s love got to do with it?” If your going to base your love upon myths like ‘in a relationship don’t give it your all’ or ‘ leave room for disappointment’, ‘men are dogs, women are hoes’, ‘true love doesn’t exist’ etc. Then trust me, you are far from being happy! You will forever be a slave of your own mentality, because as you think then so you are. Set your mind free and you will learn to love freely, with no restrictions, fears, uncertainties and all. Because if you love with restrictions, you are like a bird flying with a wounded wing, your not completely free.

I am in a relationship myself and I have taught myself that, unless I hear it from the horses mouth, then I’m not running to any conclusion.

“Just because he didn’t pick up his phone, he’s avoiding me” – Maybe he’s sleeping, taking a shower, forgot his phone. Have you though about that maybe?

“He didn’t reply to my text, maybe I’m annoying him” – Did he say so?

“He doesn’t hold my hand in public, he has a girlfriend around town” – Does public affection guarantee you love

“He doesn’t call me, I’m going to avoid him too” – What if he’s caught up, stressed, sick, or probably dead :-/

So please, Love don’t restrict me!!